On Self Help Books: Self-help Secrets Revealed – Part 2

How to Assess Your Self-Help Needs

Self Help is, itself, a broad category from which to choose resources for your personal benefit:  It is wise to assess yourself first, in terms of “needs”, “goals” and “problems” to be solved. Because as you work through this process you will find that more than one Online Resource may fit the bill.  Then you are in a good position to test a number of things to see what works best. That’s why you read reviews and access “Inside the Book” (which Amazon features) to determine whether this is a good resource for you.

Your Inner Self Knows What You Need. Pay Attention to Your Gut Feelings about whatever Resource you are Testing.

As Martha Stewart would say: “This is a good thing”.

Life, after all, is a sequence of trial and error, followed by trial and success. You’re going to hit the jackpot more often than not. You will get what you need.  Ideally, of course, you want to get your needs met regularly and reduce the experimenting involved in getting there.

Keep in mind that you are learning a very important lesson. You are learning to TRUST YOURSELF.  And that is worth its weight in gold.

As you listen to yourself and hear those subtle responses to what you are examining, your heart and intuition are hard at work leading you to exactly where you need to go. Each time you do this you are fine tuning your connection with your own best resource – Your Inner Self!

This brings us to our first important distinction in the assessment process.

To keep things simple, we are going to identify two broad categories you will pursue in terms of Self-Help. These we will call:

1) Categories of Distress which are Problems to be Solved; and

2) Categories of Achievement which are our Goals to be Achieved.

Under Problems to be solved, we may find symptom problems such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, negative thinking and so on.

These are the types of symptoms or problems that consistently have an adverse effect on your sense of well-being.  We can sum these up as “Negatives we want to get away from and eliminate.

Under Goals to be achieved, we may find personal growth, self-improvement, positive thinking, goal setting, success conditioning and so on.  All of these “goals” will have a positive effect  on your sense of well-being.  We can sum these up as Positives we want to embrace.

So our two broad categories are:

1)   “Distress – Problems to be Solved” which we want to move away from and:

2)   “Achievement – Goals to be Achieved” which we want to move toward.

This is our beginning point. Your problem areas or achievement goals will fall under one of these two.

Is it likely that you will have more than one problem area to deal with, or more than one achievement goal to pursue?  The answer, of course, is quite likely.  Before you begin feeling overwhelmed, consider the following:

For example, under Categories of Distress, you may be experiencing anxiety and low self-esteem. Which do you tackle first?  Or, do you tackle both of them at the same time?  The answer is: you tackle the one that troubles you the most, because the other one will be beneficially affected as well.

Think about this for a minute.  If you learn to reduce your anxiety, you will likely experience an increase in self-esteem.  Conversely, if low self-esteem is the dominant issue, then improving your self-esteem will likely reduce your anxiety.

In either case, the lesser problem will be positively affected.

That doesn’t mean it will not need focused attention of its own.  But as the dominant problem recedes, the next one needing your attention will step into the queue.  Remember, your ally in this is your Intuition and Feeling Centre.  This is what 25 years as a therapist and 40 years as a seeker have consistently shown me.

Let’s move over to “Categories of Achievement” and see if this may be true here also.

Suppose our goals are to increase “Positive Thinking” and apply some “Success Conditioning” to our work attitude.  We still make the same choice.  Which of these goals do we most desire at this particular time, given our current stage of development? You can be assured that whichever goal you choose, the other will be positively affected as well.

After which, that secondary goal may now press for attention, or some other as yet unseen goal could materialize.  You can’t see what’s around the corner until you actually turn the corner. And you can’t turn the corner until you get moving!

For some, this may seem rather straightforward;  for others, this may be feel overwhelming.

It’s time to make another important distinction.  Just as we’ve identified two broad categories of Self-Help requirements, we must now distinguish between two broad categories of “Persons seeking Self-Help.”

Category 1 will be those persons who have done some work on themselves and have a sense of what “problems” or “goals” they want to deal with next.

Category 2 belongs to your basic “Newbie” who has little or no experience in seeking self-help and/or doesn’t trust their ability to make good choices for themselves.

We can readily see that these two groups are radically different, but only on the experience scale.  Their goals and/or problems to be solved are still part of their desire to improve their lives and their sense of effectiveness.  On these points, they are the same as category One individuals, who also want to improve their lives.

So the fundamental question for both groups is essentially the same:  “Where do I start?”  And the answer for both groups is also the same: “Start from where you are right now!”

Let me explain.  If you are a newbie, then look for resources and programs that are designed for the novice and address your current problem or goal.

For example, if you have an issue with anxiety, phobias, or low self-esteem then pick a program, book or audio course that addresses your dominant concern.  On the other hand, if you’ve been engaged in personal development for a while, then trust that your Intuition and Feeling Centre will take you where you need to go next.

The most pressing need or desire, for persons in either of these groups, will make its way to the front of the line.  That’s just the way we are built!

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